Better Me

It's nice to have some time with just myself. I keep forgetting that. It's easy to forget.

I've been working late-ish nearly every day since last summer. New projects, projects that just wouldn't end, excitement, tedium. It all melds together into an amalgam of, oh look, it's nine pm again. But I'm not upset by it.

The last few years have been pretty rocky. I've made some poor decisions. I've had a lot of heartbreak. But I know that I am stronger today, more grown up, and more of a me that I can respect. And really, that's been my new year's resolution for the last several years. I like it as a goal for myself. I don't like the idea of putting something out there that I'll feel guilty about if I don't work for it every moment. Being healthy is a great goal, but it can lead to a lot of unnecessary stress and disappointment when you slip up.

And you will slip up. You're human. Or at least I am.

So, while I do enjoy my morning push-ups, I'm not promising myself that I'll do them every day. I get sick. I get late. I get hungover. But if I skip out on something that's so rigid against definitions, I will hate myself for messing it up, and then be less and less motivated to keep going.

But being a better me? I can do that. No one else can, by definition.

I have been pretty good about the push-ups, though. Not gonna lie.