Directions

In the last few weeks, I feel like I may have found some direction for my life.

Heavy stuff.

There are five major options that have reared their heads in my direction.

1. Grad School - Japan
2. Grad School - US
3. Generic Job Hunting - Japan
4. Generic Job Hunting - US
5. US Foreign Service

Let's take a look at these individually, shall we?

1. Grad School - Japan
Until recently, this seemed like the natural progression of my aimless adventures in Japanland. I never gave much thought beyond getting to Japan before actually coming here, and so the idea of thinking about anything beyond that just confused and frightened me for the longest time. Whenever faced with the question, "so, what are you going to do after you graduate?" I would make a face and say I hadn't thought about it too much, yet. A lie, yes, but ultimately much easier than going into the details of my actual thought processes. With a recent series of changes in the ministry of education and all else, simply going on to Grad School doesn't seem so solid anymore. So why should I focus so much on this, when I could be spending my energy on...

2. Grad School - US
Maybe I need to face facts. Getting a higher degree in Japan and then hoping to put it to use back in the States is considerably more idealist than an equivalent degree from an American school. Even if I were to go pretty far in my studies here, could I really put that to use here? How about in the States? Somewhere else? Not so likely. But with the vast differences in styles between undergrad programs in the two countries, how prepared can I really call myself for a graduate program in the United States?

3. Generic Job Hunting - Japan
As a Junior in an undergraduate course at a Japanese university, I see most of my peers carrying new smart phones to match their suits, always running off to some job seminar or conference or another. I kind of promised myself that I wouldn't let myself fall into that trap, but with the change of system for continuing school, I shook myself into registering for a couple of job hunting websites. But even if I were to enter a Japanese company, what sort of role could I possibly fulfill? Would I be a token foreigner? The default English-checker? Would I fall immediately into the mold of Ex-pats living in Japan, constantly complaining about the lack of equal rights? (Which is a subject I don't even want to start on right now. It leads in far too many other directions.)

4. Generic Job Hunting - US
Classmates from high school in the US are all graduating soon, if they haven't graduated yet. The job market is terrible. Okay, yes, the same can be said for Japan. Okay, yes, I suppose my resume would maybe peak some interest, but the beautiful part about companies back there is the fact that applying for a job isn't limited to a short time frame, a common gripe about job hunting in Japan. I don't feel so much pressure to land a job right now if I were to try to find a job outside of Japan.

5. US Foreign Service
A couple of weeks ago, a friend suggested that I check out the government postings for jobs, something my mother has told me to do since I was sixteen years old. Upon looking at the foreign service's section at the state department's career section, I got that familiar, yet oh-so-long-forgotten feeling in my chest, moving up toward my throat. This is what I want. This is what will inspire me to study.

And so it's begun. I'll be spending a lot of time in the library from here out.